--- title: How to Discuss Engagement Rings And Maintain The Element of the Surprise description: Talking about what you want for an engagement ring while maintaining surprise involves sharing ring size, preferences, and defining involvement. Discover steps to balance communication and romantic surprise. image: https://shop.bestkept.com/hubfs/AI-Generated%20Media/Images/couple%20looking%20at%20diamonds%20at%20jewelry%20store.jpeg --- [Skip to content](https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/how-to-discuss-what-you-want-for-an-engagement-ring-without-ruining-all-of-the-surprise#main-content) [![](https://shop.bestkept.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Untitled%20design-1.png?width=1920&height=1080&name=Untitled%20design-1.png)](https://www.proposalprep.com) Open main navigation Close main navigation - [Learn More](https://www.proposalprep.com/collections/shop-page) [Learn More](https://www.proposalprep.com/collections/shop-page) Sep 23, 2024 2:06:27 PM # How to Discuss Engagement Rings And Maintain The Element of the Surprise [Kat McCoy](https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/author/kat-mccoy) Share: [facebook-f icon](http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/how-to-discuss-what-you-want-for-an-engagement-ring-without-ruining-all-of-the-surprise) [Share this page on Facebook](mailto:?body=https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/how-to-discuss-what-you-want-for-an-engagement-ring-without-ruining-all-of-the-surprise)   If you’re in a serious relationship and have met “the one”, chances are you’ve started to think about discussing with your partner if and when you’d like to get engaged.  In fact, roughly 25% of couples discuss getting engaged two years or more before the proposal.  Even more couples, approximately 33%, shop for the ring together in person. (The Knot) Despite this growing trend of increased communication leading up to the proposal, many couples are looking to strike a balance between direct communication and the romance of a surprise.   When it comes to the engagement ring, this can be even trickier - the person being proposed to often feels like, “I don’t want to seem materialistic or picky but I’m the one who will be wearing this thing everyday.” ##### Here are 4 steps to talk about your ring preferences with your partner while leaving room for surprise:   1. ###### Start with something easy - your ring size Accurately knowing your partner’s ring size does not ruin all mystery and romance.  A great entry point into the conversation with your partner about your dream ring is clearly communicating your ring size.   The Proposal Prep box comes with a professional ring sizer.  Don’t have one at home? You can also visit any local jewelry store who will take your finger size at no charge.  ![engagement ring sizing](https://shop.bestkept.com/hs-fs/hubfs/71LNKpUDZ0L.jpg?width=364&height=364&name=71LNKpUDZ0L.jpg) 1. ###### Share your screenshots Typically the person who hopes to be proposed to has a few (cough, a lot!) visual references of rings they like that are saved on their phone.  Have a secret Pinterest board or saved screenshots?  Ask your partner if they’re open to seeing the styles you’ve been considering.   ![engagement ring Pinterest board](https://shop.bestkept.com/hs-fs/hubfs/screen-shot-2020-01-10-at-1.26.18-pm.png.webp?width=488&height=231&name=screen-shot-2020-01-10-at-1.26.18-pm.png.webp) 1. ###### Discuss your desired level of involvement  Expressing clear expectations of how involved or not involved you’d both like to be is key.  Here are a few questions to consider for yourself before you sit down with your partner. - How involved do you want to be in the ring buying and selection process? - Do you want to try on rings together? - Do you want to talk about setting a budget? - Should your partner consult a friend or family member in the ring buying process? - Is there anything you definitely don’t want for a ring design? - Is there anything you definitely do want for a ring design? If visiting a store to try on rings sounds intimidating at this point in your journey, the Proposal Prep Couples Box comes with a diamond try-on kit that allows you to see 9 different diamond shapes on your own finger.   ![diamond shopping](https://shop.bestkept.com/hs-fs/hubfs/AI-Generated%20Media/Images/couple%20looking%20at%20diamonds%20at%20jewelry%20store.jpeg?width=354&height=354&name=couple%20looking%20at%20diamonds%20at%20jewelry%20store.jpeg) 1. ###### Identify an exit ramp Now that you’ve shared your ring size, your screenshots and your desired level of involvement, it’s time to identify when you expect to exit the process and let the person who is proposing run the show.   Some couples verbally discuss what they want and then let one partner take the lead.  Some couples try on rings together or even select the diamond together before exiting the process.  Think about what feels right for you. ![let man surprise with engagement ring](https://shop.bestkept.com/hs-fs/hubfs/AI-Generated%20Media/Images/exit%20ramp%20with%20woman%20waving%20goodbye.jpeg?width=347&height=347&name=exit%20ramp%20with%20woman%20waving%20goodbye.jpeg) Need help planning your dream proposal or getting the conversation started? We're here to keep the excitement alive while making sure every detail is perfect. Our Couples Box offers a unique date night experience that includes our signature Diamond Try-on Kit, The Ultimate Ring Buying Guide, a ring sizer, a relationship building card game and more! Determine your dream ring and proposal.  [Explore the Proposal Prep Couples Box](https://www.proposalprep.com/collections/shop-page/products/box?utm_source=Instagram%2520&utm_medium=Organic%2520Socials&utm_campaign=Thanksgiving%2520Gratitude%2520&utm_term=Date%2520Night%252C%2520Engagement%2520Ring%2520)   Share: [facebook-f icon](http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/how-to-discuss-what-you-want-for-an-engagement-ring-without-ruining-all-of-the-surprise) [Share this page on Facebook](mailto:?body=https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/how-to-discuss-what-you-want-for-an-engagement-ring-without-ruining-all-of-the-surprise) [ring advice](https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/tag/ring-advice) ## Related posts [![](https://shop.bestkept.com/hs-fs/hubfs/istockphoto-1940049199-612x612.jpg?height=200&name=istockphoto-1940049199-612x612.jpg)](https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/budgeting-for-an-engagement-ring-a-no-pressure-guide) [ring advice](https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/tag/ring-advice), [budgeting](https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/tag/budgeting) ## [Budgeting for an Engagement Ring: A No-Pressure Guide](https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/budgeting-for-an-engagement-ring-a-no-pressure-guide) ![Picture of Megan Griffin](https://app.hubspot.com/settings/avatar/ae20d670c310831017fa48b5b3315275) [Megan Griffin](https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/author/megan-griffin) Feb 24, 2025 1:09:13 PM Buying an engagement ring is a HUGE milestone, but one of the biggest things couples still struggle... [Read more](https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/budgeting-for-an-engagement-ring-a-no-pressure-guide) [![](https://shop.bestkept.com/hs-fs/hubfs/istockphoto-1182639652-612x612.jpg?height=200&name=istockphoto-1182639652-612x612.jpg)](https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/diamond-shapes-101-a-complete-guide-to-finding-your-perfect-ring) ## [Diamond Shapes 101: A Complete Guide to Finding your Perfect Ring](https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/diamond-shapes-101-a-complete-guide-to-finding-your-perfect-ring) ![Picture of Megan Griffin](https://app.hubspot.com/settings/avatar/ae20d670c310831017fa48b5b3315275) [Megan Griffin](https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/author/megan-griffin) Mar 3, 2025 5:01:07 PM Choosing an engagement ring is one of the most exciting decisions you'll make —but with so many... [Read more](https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/diamond-shapes-101-a-complete-guide-to-finding-your-perfect-ring) [![](https://shop.bestkept.com/hs-fs/hubfs/lab-grown-diamonds.jpg?height=200&name=lab-grown-diamonds.jpg)](https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/all-about-lab-grown-diamonds) [ring advice](https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/tag/ring-advice) ## [All About Lab-Grown Diamonds](https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/all-about-lab-grown-diamonds) ![Picture of Megan Griffin](https://app.hubspot.com/settings/avatar/ae20d670c310831017fa48b5b3315275) [Megan Griffin](https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/author/megan-griffin) Feb 24, 2025 1:09:51 PM When setting a budget for an engagement ring, lab-grown diamonds are a topic that can't be ignored.... [Read more](https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/all-about-lab-grown-diamonds) ## About Proposal Prep Figure out what kind of engagement ring you want from the comfort of your own home ![feitenphotography-9](https://shop.bestkept.com/hs-fs/hubfs/feitenphotography-9.jpg?width=2000&height=1333&name=feitenphotography-9.jpg "feitenphotography-9") ### Developed by jewelers and relationship experts Proposal Prep has helped thousands of couples get clarity on what type of ring they want and how to approach buying it, all while experiencing one of the best dates they’ve ever been on.  Get your box today exclusively at [www.proposalprep.com](http://www.proposalprep.com).  [instagram icon](https://instagram.com/proposalprep) [Follow us on Facebook](https://www.youtube.com/@ProposalPrep) [Follow us on Facebook](https://www.tiktok.com/@proposalprep) Copyright © 2024, ```json { "@context" : "https://schema.org", "@type" : "BlogPosting", "author" : { "@type" : "Person", "name" : "Kat McCoy", "url" : "https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/author/kat-mccoy" }, "dateModified" : "2024-10-09T16:32:10.193Z", "datePublished" : "2024-09-23T18:06:27.000Z", "headline" : "How to Discuss Engagement Rings And Maintain The Element of the Surprise", "image" : [ "https://shop.bestkept.com/hubfs/AI-Generated%20Media/Images/couple%20looking%20at%20diamonds%20at%20jewelry%20store.jpeg" ], "mainEntityOfPage" : { "@id" : "https://shop.bestkept.com/blog/how-to-discuss-what-you-want-for-an-engagement-ring-without-ruining-all-of-the-surprise", "@type" : "WebPage" }, "publisher" : { "@type" : "Organization", "logo" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "url" : "https://shop.bestkept.com/hubfs/Untitled%20design-1.png" }, "name" : "Best Kept" } } ```